INTENTIONAL LIVING

self love Nov 02, 2023

By Rafet Khaliq

‘Oh Allah purify my heart of malice, my soul of the sins I’ve committed and purify my intentions for me- Ameen’

as Muslims our intentions should be to gain the pleasure of Allah SWT in all that we do, according to Imam Nawawi’s Forty Hadith, which states ‘Actions are according to intentions, and everyone will get what was intended’ (Bukhari, Muslim). The intention which is the ‘Niyyah’ refers to the spirit of doing deeds through which they may become religiously valid - sincere intentions turn permissible deeds into acts of worship. This process also highlights the connection between the physical actions and their spiritual consequences. Even though nobody else may understand us, and sometimes we are not correct in our actions even when our intentions were good, Allah SWT knows our true intentions and knowing this helps to bring peace within ourselves.

Intentions are the roots of every actions, they reflect the...

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Effects of Female Toxicity in Households

islamic parenting Oct 03, 2023

Recently whilst speaking to a fellow Psychologist, we touched upon the common ailments in households where female toxicity is present. These traits are but aren’t limited to:

  •  Manipulation
  •  Lying
  •  Controlling behaviour
  •  Coercive behaviour
  •  Negative financial behaviours
  •  Envy/jealousy
  • Constant lack of support: dismissive of your needs and only supports you in return for something of benefit to her.
  •  Resentment
  • Constant negative communication (sarcasm, passive aggressiveness, micro aggressions, contempt, silent treatment).

The main one being stomach issues – IBS, Crohn’s, gastroenteritis, lactose intolerance, bloating, diarrhoea, heartburn and vomiting.

On looking through my case studies it became apparent that the most common ones were bloating and excess stomach weight issues in houses where a dominating and toxic mother in law were present.

Another was where the child had witnessed manipulation and controlling behaviours and...

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PLUMS

healing foods Oct 03, 2023

HISTORY AND BACKGROUND

Plums are one of the most popular of the stone fruits. Earliest known data of plums indicates that Plums in Europe were only discovered around two thousand years ago, originating in the area near the Eastern Europe or Western Asia. In ancient Roman times, 300 varieties of European plums were mentioned.

IMPRESSIVE HEALTH BENEFITS

Plum Fruits for human body is very amazing, mainly for preventing cancer. You call it plum when it is fresh, and you call it prune when it is dried, but both of them are full of nutrients. So no matter which type that you eat, you can still reap the benefits.

  • Regular intake of dried plums helps in promoting fluidity of blood in the arteries thus maintaining cardiovascular health.
  • plum extracts have been proven beneficial in the treatment of cancer.
  • Regular Consumption of dried plums exerts anabolic and anti-resorptive actions, which aid in maintaining healthy bones with can assist with preventing osteoporosis.
  • Plums consist of...
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Self-Care Through Mirror Work

self love Oct 03, 2023

We often look at the mirror to give ourselves a quick glance to see if we are looking good, good enough to face the world; the connection with the mirror is usually on a surface level, but what if we were to go deeper…

If you were to look deep into your eyes through the mirror, what would you see? We can often be our own worst critics, negative self-talk and self-judgement which come from our conditioning holds us back from self-compassion. 

Mirror work was originally developed by transformational teacher and author Louise Hay as a way of getting in touch with the inner self. Hay said, ‘Mirror work is the most effective method I’ve found for learning to love yourself and see the world as a safe and loving place’.

Mirror work is when you look at yourself, focus on your eyes and embrace the reflection with love and compassion, using positive affirmations. Yeh, I know…sounds uncomfortable and at first it may well be, but with a bit of regularity you...

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Self-Care through Mindful Meditation

self love Sep 02, 2023

The new buzzwords in healing is mindful meditation. Everyone is talking about mindful meditation and reaping the benefits! 

Sometimes we may think, meditation? That’s not for me, I don’t have the time for that hippy whippy stuff. But it’s not about free time, it’s about understanding what we value and making time for it, right? Discovering how this prophetic practice can help you in many aspects of your life can be transformative to how you view the world.

So now about that free time, if you normally pick up your phone and start scrolling, turn on the TV or listen to a podcast – although this can help switch off from daily stressors – what is much better for your health and stress relief is Silence and Solitude which can also be labelled as Mindful Meditation.

“What is even better for your health and stress relief is Silence and Solitude”

Silence and solitude can bring higher consciousness to intuition, a greater sense of calm,...

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The Importance of Breathing

self love Aug 03, 2023

Self care is the practice of taking action to preserve one's own health (Oxford Languages)

In life we get caught up with servitude to others, our kids, our parents, our jobs, as Islam teaches us to be selfless however there is also absolute importance to caring for our own wellbeing too.

It was reported by Aisha RA that the Prophet (SAW) said 'Verily your own self has rights over you, so fast, break your fast, pray and sleep' (Sunan Abi Dawud).

Have you ever addressed serving yourself, what would this look like? As soon as we serve ourselves, we can much more fully serve others, known as filling your own cup.

The Prophet (SAW) went to the Cave Hira regularly, the need for time to himself and reflection is key in taking away himself away from, others and a space to quieten the mind. 

Self-Care is not synonymous to being selfish or self-indulgence, it is taking care of yourself so you can be healthy and be well.

Self-care is part of the answer on how we can deal with our daily...

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Navigating Children Through Separation, Divorce & Alienation

islamic parenting Aug 02, 2023

Recently at my practise I had a mother bring in a very hostile 7 year old; he spat, scratched and kicked.

We worked on his anger; I asked mum to engage in some EFT to calm herself. The vitriol being spewed by the child was extreme:

‘You are the nasty person who broke our family up.’

‘I’m angry because Daddy can’t stay because you threw him out.’

I have worked with the family for just over a year and when I first met the child, he was bubbly, confident and innocent. Our most recent session, reflected a child who had been exposed to adult themes and conversations and a very angry, confused young individual who did not have -quite rightly so- the ability to navigate the weight of adult issues.

It was soon brought to light that his father, who had recently been evicted from the family home due to his gambling and alcohol problems, was projecting their hostility towards mum onto their child. The divorce had not been sudden- the boy had been aware that...

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CHERRIES

healing foods Aug 02, 2023

Cherries derive their name from the Turkish town of Creases. Turkey remains the largest cherry producing region in the world. Cherries migrated with the colonists from Europe in the 1600’s. 

There are two major categories — tart and sweet cherries, or Prunus cerasus L. and Prunus avium L., respectively.

 JUICY FACTS ABOUT CHERRIES

  • A cherry tree can grow 33 feet in height! 
  • The cherry tree develops beautiful white flowers during the spring. Cherry production starts 3 to 4 years after planting 
  • There are over 1000 different varieties.
  • A cherry tree can survive and produce fruit for around 100 years.
  • The World Record for cherry-pit spitting is 93 Feet set in 2004.
  • There ae 2 main types of cherries: sweet and tart.
  • A typical cherry tree produces 7000 cherries.
  • A cherry tree can be harvested in seven seconds using a mechanical tree shaker.
  • Japanese cherry blossom trees don’t produce fruit. 

Cherries are jam-packed with antioxidants, vitamins...

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The Darkest Side of Toxic Parenting

islamic parenting Jul 02, 2023

Recently at my clinic I encountered a young Muslim woman in her early 20s who came across very toxic.

From the onset, it was apparent that she believed herself to be unique and special and she held a very high importance of herself. She spoke of herself almost dreamily. ‘I am a dreamer, a farmer, a dancer, a lyricist, a wordsmith, an artist of many hats, a lover.’ 

She came to me with ‘childhood trauma’ and referred to herself as ‘Daddy’s girl.’ When I asked what the trauma was, she could not elaborate. Her recent recollection was that she had made friends with a boy on campus and he had ‘got the wrong idea’ that she was into him and she had no idea how to navigate his affections but they had somehow ended up alone and he had attempted some form of physical affection with her which made her realise she was not into men ‘but that I identify as a lesbian.’

As a faith aligned therapist, it is not my job to...

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Grounding/Earthing as a Form of Self-Care

self love Jul 02, 2023

Self care is the practice of taking action to preserve one's own health (Oxford Languages) 

Have you ever gone to the beach, felt the sand under your feet and just felt so relaxed no matter what type of hectic or stressful day you've had? This feeling of calm is likely to be induced by the sounds of the waves, and from having your shoes and socks off your feet. When your feet are connecting to the Earth's natural healing energy - this is called grounding or earthing. 

Grounding is one of the most powerful and simplest ways to improve your health. Conductive contact with the human body to the surface of the Earth can have some very fascinating benefits to our psychology. 

This contact is easiest from the soles of your feet, however any contact with skin works, so whilst you pray salaah you're enhancing the experience with your feet, hands, nose and forehead. You can use grass, soil, sand or even contact with concrete for this.

Grounding is simple science - Humans are...

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