self love Apr 02, 2023

Our sins and our mistakes can really weigh us down, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. We carry these around every-where, and at times in relationships that we feel we’ve let others down, our motivation for pursuing them can be guilt driven, or we’ve committed the mistakes which we feel we're not worthy of forgiveness. This mindset even makes us feel that we shouldn’t do just the basic in fulfilling our duties to Allah SWT because we are not good enough. There are numerous things that can curb our growth and hold us back, like an anchor to a ship! 

Well-meaning comments from others such as ‘it can happen to anyone, you’re only human’ doesn’t quite cut it…as much as they help us to try and move forward, and we try to let go of the past, it’s easier said than done…in fact we try to numb the guilt or the shame that we may feel and overcome by worthlessness.

What if we could just go on and forgive ourselves for the mistakes we make, free from our decisions made in a guiltfree way, how good would life be… how would that feel? How would you behave? How would your relationship with Allah SWT be?

So how do we go about it? 

Forgiving yourself for the mistakes you made can change your relationship firstly with yourself and with others around you, and most importantly your Creator. You may feel lighter, more energetic, ready to do things that you wouldn’t otherwise do… what better time is there than Ramadhan to make that change… 

It seems easier to forgive others than ourselves, this is because we have a higher standard for ourselves, hence makes it easier to slip and harder to forgive. We are constantly being niggled by that voice in our head which is always reminding us of our mistakes and magnifying them which makes it feel worse. Many a time in sessions with clients they are so overcome by guilt they feel unworthy of forgiveness. My question to clients, ‘Are you the judge of yourself?’ Underestimating Allah SWT vast mercy, and unintentionally putting their own opinion above Allah SWT. Allah SWT has stated many times not to despair…

‘Say My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins) Do not despair of the Mercy of Allah: verily He forgives all sins. Truly He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful’ (39:53)

Going in full throttle…

Instead of hiding away from you sins, face them, full throttle, facing your demons will help you heal, you can’t heal what you don’t feel. Yes it will be difficult, nothing worth attaining is ever easy, so ask Him with sincerity, feel fully regretful. This is the time to cry it out, don’t hold back, if you’re disappointed with yourself tell Him, you’re complaining to the One who is Ar Rahim The Compassionate, He gets you. The thing is you don’t need to make excuses, like you do an employer when you’ve messed up, or a spouse if your too scared of the consequences, the more sincere you are with Allah the more relief you feel. There is no fear of being found out, Allah’s name Al Ghaffar meaning The Great Forgiver, the root word ghayn-fa-ra has the following classical Arabic connotations includes: to cover, veil, conceal, hide to pardon Subhan’Allah, so with forgiveness is to cover up. Be rest assured Allah loves those who repent, and He will protect you from exposure 

Take it as a life lesson! 

Life lessons don’t happen to us they happen for us, sometimes we don’t always understand in the moment or even a month or a year later. But in due time you will realise the lessons have happened for a reason, Allah’s Wisdom in all things are profound, we need to trust Him!

Maybe your relationship with Allah SWT has become closer, maybe you’ve had a different connection with you faith, perhaps you become a pillar for others to strengthen their faith, there could be many reasons you have been put through these trials and this journey. Everything happens for a reason, right? I can truly say that my life lessons have made my relationship with my Creator deeper in strength, with this strength comes peace, and peace is priceless, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Alhumdulilah.

Do not delay this process, don’t let that voice in your head tell you it’s not time, or you’re not worth it, Allah SWT made you the best of creation and that is enough to tell you, you ARE worth it. Ramadhan is that optimum time that you can really pour your heart out…may Allah SWT make is easy for you, make this month the month fully beneficial to seek Mercy from the One who can provide it. Ameen ❤️

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